So We Are About a Month In...

So a few days ago, Luke and I celebrated our 1 month anniversary. I KNOW SO CUTE AND CRAZY I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT (GIRL GIGGLING)!!!!! But for real I can't believe it at all. I can't believe that I have already been married for a month, lived in Michigan for a month, worked at my new job for almost a month...holy cow. My life has changed so much I don't think I have been able to sit down and really realize it haha.

I have been worried because everyone that I have talked to has talked about how hard it is to be in medical school with your spouse. I have a few things to tell you about this:

1. It is hard on some level because you have to change your relationship and the things that are important to both of you. Luke and I have always said that education is very important to both of us whether it was me or him getting it. However, thinking about education and being in education are two different things. You have to talk to your spouse to recognize what is important to both of you. It's been hard because we have had to ajust when we are getting that quality time together. More often than not it's over a meal or at bedtime. I have been fortunate enough for Luke to be studying at home since medical school started. But since I started work, the time we have together is even more limited. You have to make a schedule to see each other and to spend QUALITY time togehter. You can't expect your relationship with your medical/post-grad spouse to get better and not deteriorate if you don't communicate about what you need. Recognize that you are in this together. They aren't ignoring you. They are doing their best to further themselves and you. It's hard to see when all you want to do is lay around with them and do nothing.
2. It gets really hard when you let it get into your head. Anything can bother you enough if you let it. Don't constantly think about how you aren't spending the time you used to with your spouse. It makes you crazy and it can shove a wedge in your relationship that your spouse didn't even know existed. If it is bothering you that much, you need to talk about it. Like I said earlier COMMUNICATION IS KEY. A relationship won't flourish the right way if you won't let it.
3. You can make the whole experience fun. You have control over your half of the experience. So make it fun for yourself. Maybe surprise them with a dinner they have talked about eating for a while so you can see the surprise on their face. Find what makes you smile. YOU HAVE THE POWER OVER YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY.
4. They love you...so much. They are dying to be with you just as much as you are dying to be with them. There is no reason to think that your relationship is going down because you haven't talked to them in 2 hours. Both of you are going to be having a hard time with this. There's no question BUT they love you.

Remember that you are in charge of yourself and how you feel. If you have questions about how to deal with how you feel, please comment or e-mail me. I would be glad to help.