What If...

I am still trying to navigate how I feel about going to law school. It's not that I don't want to go or anything like that. For me it's a little deeper than that.

On one hand, I am SO excited to go. This has been my dream for a long time.  Going to law school has been a dream of mine since I turned 21. I knew that I could make more of a difference personally in the legal world than in the medical world. I was in the medical world for so long and I am so glad that I found my passion here in the legal world. I am SO excited because I will be going to school with one of my good friends, Ally. I work with her so we talk about what kind of notebooks and planners we are getting. We talk about how we are so excited to go to school together! It's going to be so fun going with someone that I actually know. Guess I don't have to make friends because I already have one! JK JK

On the other hand, I am SO scared to go to law school. Most of my reasons for being scared are in the category of "what if". Here are a few of my "what if"s: What if I won't do as well as I want to? What if I really don't understand what is going on? What if I don't make any other friends? What if we want to start a family? WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO THE GYM AND I GET REALLY FAT?? But seriously that is one of my biggest what if's. But probably my most daunting "what if" is: What if I let school consume me and I forget who I am? I know that that sounds like it's out of a TV show but it's a serious concern I have. I want to say that I know that I won't forget myself in school but I don't. I tend to latch on to things and let them take over my life. I think that I have gotten better at it but I still have to be reminded sometimes that "I am more than my job". Luke does such a great job helping me to remember who I am and what I am working for. I don't think I could do anything without him.

My what if's of the past have gotten in my way many times. They have stopped me from getting to my full potential. I have not gone out of my comfort zone because of them. Will this be the change that I need to not let those thoughts dictate what I need to do.